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Why do I find it hard to make the time to put words to paper?
Why do I let things get in the way of my writing time?

Something has to change. Maybe I should schedule some writing time?

When I rolled into the subdivision I live in today there were two concrete barriers blocking off the next neighborhood from ours. Actually, it blocks them from getting to their mail boxes, which we share. A policeman was parked in front of the concrete separators fielding questions. This has been a long feud between our home owner’s association and theirs. Seems they owe ours money on the upkeep of the roads that they use, and are refusing to pay them. It’s all complicated and if you ask me, childish.

But it’s a great metaphor, huh? We do that, erect barriers, don’t we? People drive into our neighborhoods, enjoying the view only to be blocked before they can make it home. We wave, smile, greet each other at the mailbox, jog by one another, but as soon as it gets a little personal, and it costs us something, the concrete comes out.

Being a follower of Jesus isn’t easy in a world of pseudo-politicians who want to keep others out while boxing the homies in. Seems like Jesus had something to say about there being enough room, actually more than adequate room for everyone. The only barrier for us, is actually a door.

On one occasion the minister indicated that he had wanted to meet with a particular televangelist.  He purchased an expensive tie and provided it for the minister when he made his request known that he would like to meet with him.  When the televangelist agreed to meet with the minister it was obvious that he had done so because a gift had “opened the door”

Over many months this was taught over and over again (usually just before the offering was collected) and example after example was told of how he or his wife would bring a gift to a meeting and major influence was GIVEN to them. Usually when these messages were given, a quick reference was made to Proverbs 18:16 which reads:

A gift opens doors for the one who gives it and brings him into the presence of great people.

On the surface it might seem like the pastor’s example fits (on the surface) it really felt like manipulation… like he was using a gift to “buy” time with someone that he wanted something from.  When you look up the Hebrew word – it does say “gifts, offerings, presents”

This confuses me.  When I recently read a blog post by Steven Furtick, he took the word “gift” and used it in such a way that it could be interpreted as “talent”… and this makes more sense to me.  A man’s abilities or talents make room for him… (You can read his post at StevenFurtick.com)

How often do we see someone who excels because of his or her talents, giftings, or abilities? But according to Proverbs – it comes down to bribery!  Look at another passage, Proverbs 17:8…

A bribe is like a magic stone in the eyes of the one who gives it; wherever he turns he prospers.

So if I am reading this right – we are all supposed to act like Washington DC’s insiders? We are supposed to act like lobbyists greasing the political wheels to get what we want? I’m so confused & frustrated!

While in the downtown Walgreens, MC found a tank top to purchase. He held it up and asked Rachel “where do the arms go?”

Rachel looked at him and asked “Are you serious?”  MC looked bewildered and Rachel grabs the spaghetti straps of the tank top and says, “What do you think these are for? The arms go through HERE!”

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard that in Weight Watchers meetings or on TV… but yesterday my daughter reminded me of this trick and told me that she had seen it on “The Doctors” TV show.

I tried drinking a glass of water each time I felt hungry (snacky) and I when I weighed myself this morning – I was DOWN!  YAY!

I asked G if she wanted to go on a bike ride, but she declined.  She finally learned how to ride her bike and now she won’t get on the thing.  She offered to go on a long walk with me “like we used to” (We used to walk quite a bit when we lived in Vegas).  So we headed out towards the Interurban Trail in South Lynnwood.

We walked North on the trail for about 3.5 miles… It was warm-ish and we brought an umbrella – just in case – and I pushed myself hard… several times I asked G if I was walking too fast, and she said “yeah” and then added “but it’s ok.”   I guess I pushed myself too hard.  I sprained my ankle about a month ago – and it’s still not quite right and I had ridden my bike 8.4 miles on Friday… Even though I’ve lost 25+ pounds, my fat body can’t handle all of this intense exercise so close together.

G is such a trooper (and quite a talker) and we had a blast!  We made it as far as the Alderwood Mall within an hour (about 17 min per mile pace) and G was pretty hungry.  I took her to Taco Time and let her have a crisp meat burrito and a root beer… While I was trying to decide what I wanted to drink Rachel called and asked if I needed a ride home!  I went and got a smoothie from Jamba Juice and relaxed while we waited for Rachel.

When Rachel arrived, she asked if we could go and browse a new store at the mall called Naartjie.  It was a pretty cool store, but by this point my legs felt like jello!  I can’t wait until I drop another 25 pounds! Gracie has all sorts of plans for me to walk with her!  Hopefully my legs won’t feel so sore after future walks

How often do I eat because of how I feel? I know that I reach for something yummy whenever I feel upset or sad or even when I want to celebrate… it’s always “where do you want to eat?”

Almost anyone you ask will acknowledge that there is some connection between mood and food… right? Like so many other Americans, I have substituted food for feelings. Over the past few weeks I have been working on feeling my feelings instead of feeding my feelings. This has been an interesting journey, because I really don’t know HOW to feel my feelings.

I was grouchy with my wife last Wednesday because I was making a conscious decision not to feed my feelings and I didn’t know how to process what I was going through. Sadly, it is easy to mistake emotional hunger for physical hunger. I think that we have conditioned ourselves to expect food when what we really need to do is nurture our emotions.

I heard an interesting statistic the other day… I can’t find the source for it – so it may not be exact… but… “57% of women with more than 11 pounds to lose are emotional eaters.”

First, I’ve got to ask myself… why weren’t men asked this same question? … LOL… seriously… but really, How often do I eat in response to my emotions? Until recently… OFTEN!

How does that affect my weight-loss? It causes me to GAIN weight or AND it’s not healthy for my emotions.

How can I tell the difference between EMOTIONAL Hunger and PHYSICAL Hunger?

Physical Hunger:

• Physiological hunger can make you feel empty, lightheaded, irritable, nauseous or unable to concentrate.
• You may experience a headache or stomach pangs.
• Hunger builds gradually, and never feels out of control.

Emotional Hunger:

• *You want it… NOW!
• Hunger usually occurs in conjunction with increased emotion (Had to confront the boss? Fighting rush hour traffic?)
• It hits you “above the neck.” (Crave chocolate? See a commercial on TV? Smell something sugary baking at the grocery store and you get giddy?)

Some things that I’ve been working on:

• Identify my “food” triggers
• Feel my feelings
• Reframe my perception of food
• Track my food intake
• Track my hunger level & emotions when I feel “hungry”
• Ask for help
• Drink 8oz to 16oz of water 30 minutes BEFORE a meal
• Drink 8oz to 16oz of water 60 minutes AFTER a meal.
• Plan my meals (as much as possible)

A “frame” or “frame of reference” is complex. It’s the lenses with which you look at a particular issue or belief.  It may be your “reality”

To reframe something - is to step back from what is being said or done and consider the lens through which this perception is being created.  Understand that there are unspoken assumptions, beliefs, or experiences which could color your view of the situation.

Consider alternative lenses and challenge the way that you see what you are looking at. Some common ways to reframe may include:

• A problem as an opportunity
• A weakness as a strength
• An impossibility as a future possibility
• Unkindness as lack of understanding

The state of our Emotional being has a lot to do with how we frame things. If I’m happy, I’m more willing to overlook something than when I’m grumpy.  If I’m sad, I’m more likely to overeat than if I’m feeling optimistic.

I use reframing to help me overcome food issues. I have to ask myself a few questions:

• What does this behavior give me?
• What benefit comes from eating this food?
• Is there another activity that can give me a similar benefit? (If I’m stressed, maybe a long walk will help vs. consuming a pint of ice cream)

Weight Watchers encourages members to set Goals which are both weight loss goals and non-weight-loss-goals.  For every 5lbs that you take off, you get a “5″ sticker.  They also celebrate at 5% & 10% weight-loss (when you take off 5% or 10% of  your original weight).  And if you stick around for 16 weeks, you get a “stay and succeed” award.

Some non-weight-loss-goals that I might set would be “Write down all of my food items today” or “Make a healthy selection at lunch”

People who regularly set eating or fitness goals (and make an attempt to follow-through) experience winning outcomes.

Today I am sitting in the Dining Room trying to do homework (but I’m not motivated) and I realized that I’m sitting in a size 40 pair of Khaki’s that have been sitting in a drawer for 5 years. They were probably last worn before we made our trek to Las Vegas. THAT is a non-scale-victory for me today. I’m enjoying sitting in a slightly-tight (but not too bad) pair of pants that I couldn’t have buttoned a month ago.  On Sunday, our pastor noticed that I had lost weight.  And… Gramma noticed that my belly was no longer hanging out under under a shirt that I LOVE to wear.

You may have a bad day now and again – but the measure of success isn’t how many time I screwed up – it’s whether or not I got back on the program and kept going. And for 12 weeks I’ve “kept going!”

As of this morning (according to my home scale) I have taken off 25.8 lbs in 86 days.  I feel better for it.

I know that it’s not always going to be easy and that I’m going to need to look at this post in a few months to help keep me motivated.  I still have 110 lbs to lose.  I didn’t put it on overnight and so I know that it won’t come off overnight.  One day at a time, if I keep working the plan, I will take off this weight!